Friday, June 12, 2020

#JayTeoBaePoh



Ju and I have turned 8 last November, and have since moved on to a next phase of life - a wedding back in 2018 that I've yet to share about, and a new joy in our lives in 2020 that I hope to share more in future. 

The last 4 weeks have been life-changing. It definitely has its moments (the ups and the downs) and got us victory moments and pleasant smiling faces. He is one joy we have brought to our lives that have allowed us as new parents to experience many "firsts" that we never had a chance. 

It made me realise that even as a new mom, I can worry about every single thing that is happening to my newborn. It starts from the slightest things to sounds he make while he's drinking, his sleeping/crying/pooping patterns, his 2-hourly to 3-hourly feeds, worrying about insufficient milk supply, worrying about the little baby acne that started appearing on his 2nd week... The list goes on. I spent a lot of time reading different online advices, parenthood forums, their experiences and journeys and tell myself that "it is okay". 4 weeks later, I am still telling myself that "it is going to be okay."

I tried to document every part of his growth, hoping that I'd remember - But there were many experiences that I've had (and passed) that will in future might help another new mom out there. I also realised how important it is to have the right type of support - support from your husband, support from your family and friends. We really went into this pregnancy and told ourselves to "go with the flow". We are currently flowing with love and delight every single day and never turned back since. 

As I look back and reflect on our journey together the last 4 weeks, it really takes us to tango together, to feel the rhythm and trust me, things are going to get worse before it gets better. There were times that I was at the lowest in my life (I had doubts about everything - about not being able to be a good mom, about the incessant cryings that I don't know what was wrong and how to fix it, about the different types of worries I had and anxiety that I never knew I would go through...), but when things pass and as you watch them grow, they are like the rainbow after a storm.

  1. I am grateful that he was able to latch perfectly well, and as we continue to work out our feed timings, and just being there with me in the wee mornings of the nights when everyone else was asleep.
  2. I am grateful for his mini smiles and milk-drunk face that he gives after each feeding session. I love seeing his satiated face, and his love for being cradled to sleep before placing him back into his crib.
  3. I am grateful for having him to know that I can encompass and love another human so much - on top of my family, my husband, my dog and now my son. I will do anything and everything for you.
  4. I am grateful for his reactions to certain things, to enable me to learn and re-learn what patience is about, and also pushing me to read and learn things out of my comfort zone, and to re-learn what it takes to be a good mother, a good daughter, a good wife, a good teacher and in future a good confidant.
  5. I am grateful for having him to complete the void in my heart, to fill my life with love, and love from everyone else. I want to grow old with you with my husband together. It has shown me that a husband's and daddy's love is also unconditional, and that they will do anything and everything for us.
I want to document this new journey of life together with my family, and I look forward to sharing more when the time comes!

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