Thursday, April 26, 2012

Your world

Misery loves misery. 

There are many things that we do in our normal lives. How normal is normal? It isn’t really my thing. Sometimes, some days, some things remind you that you wished you had stayed. We make plans, for a change in schedule or in time, plans to change our minds, plans to try and change our future. We watch life in pictures that don’t play a thing. We go through part of every stage alone. We go to bed sobbing, a wet pillow filled with tears, the sober mind left thinking. 

When things mattered, we tell ourselves, that we would never make an enemy out of anyone. We try to be nice to everyone around us, build relationships with people who mattered. Profitable relationships that we spend too much time on, that most of the time we forget how shortchanged we are at the shorter end of the stick. We lose faith in finding someone, in realizing what is good enough, and the tainted vision of perfection. The chain of misery continues, hoping that happiness appears somewhere in this chain. This hunt continues, this pain that never really mattered in the day, this hunger to rid being alone. 

This is a mess. This is the void of happiness. This is a new life in your hands trying to find a new beginning. The silence of home, the rumble of the only appliance switched on with food, the only memories you’re keeping away throughout. And the times you don’t know why these random conversations took place. We take time to forget how we wake up in the morning, or go to bed at night. There was no string of reasons in my bag that I could give for you to stay. 

At the end of it all, it was that chain of intimacy in anonymity. It was how misery engulfed misery in close vicinity. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Shop NID

A proper store to list all the items that I’d like to sell :)

Shop: now ☺ or click on “Shop” tab above! xx

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Of superflydom

The always concerned brother who never fails to strike a conversation with anyone he thought he’d drifted from. The last recent memory I had with him was when we had frog leg porridge at Geylang together, sent me home, talked about our partners and breaking apart. He had such splendid personality that somehow cracked everyone up. His voice still ringing in my head, “Mei, you sure about that?" He said. One of the first few friends I made when I entered Sports School, almost like a big brother. 

He was a legend, a legend in his runs, a legend in his work, and a legend in the course of duty while serving the nation. He was such a hero. His more recent conversations made over twitter, bbms and outside zouk… I could hardly make out that this beautiful life he has ahead of him would be taken away. I remembered how he never failed to fight till the end, the random high knee lifts I see while having morning training on the track, and the old nickname “Dirty Old Man”. He replied me on twitter, “Ahhaa, the way you call him old man…" It stings a little, and triggers these memories. 

It dawned on me that I wouldn’t be able to hear him call “Mei" anymore. He has made an impact in our lives in his own special way, one way or the other, and let us in to become part of his superfly world. We will never forget his accomplishments, his legacies, and what he have left behind for all of us to mourn over - The perfect memory of him. 

My heart goes out to his family and all of us whom held him close to our hearts. You have left us to remember how awesome you were around people - Left bits and pieces with us of you to keep you behind. That glory, that moment, lasts forever. I love you Dom. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The ordinary parade

Marina Bay Floating Platform, Singapore.

I don’t usually do this, but it was definitely a heartwarming sight. I’ve been here and there, and it sucks when I am so determined to accomplish something, I give it my all. And when I forget about the effort and determination I’ve put in, go on a short break, I forgot where I left it off, and I can’t seem to switch it back on. It’s always been a cycle, and it’s here again.